Grateful

grate·ful

Dictionary result for grateful

/ˈɡrātfəl/

adjective

1. feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness; thankful.
   "I'm very grateful to you for all your help"

synonyms:

thankful, filled with gratitude, appreciative

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If I'm honest, not a word I'm very comfortable with. 2019 is all about self-improvement for me, one baby step at a time. Gratitude is an area of weakness for me, for sure. I'd like to say that it isn't that I don't appreciate things, but rather I just have a hard time showing it. But admitting my mistakes is the first step. I'm not a very grateful person. I take things and people for granted - a lot. I don't intend to and I know how badly that makes people feel and reflects on me. But, if I'm honest, I've struggled with gratitude since I was very young. We all have a faults, right?

Feeling and showing more gratitude in my life, especially to the people around me who deserve it, is absolutely a top priority for me this year. Some of the appreciation I owe is more than long overdue. All of the mindfulness literature and influencers out there preach gratitude as a way of not only bettering your relationships with others, but also bettering your mental health and relationship with your life and yourself.

Because I'm a much better writer than I am speaker, I thought what better place to begin than a letter? An open letter to everyone in my life that deserves some appreciation for what they've done for me. I'm a firm believer in what you put out into the universe comes back to you in spades. So, here's a little warm, fuzzy thank you to a few folks who've earned it. And for you - thanks for reading, as always, I really appreciate it.

First, to the girl who has been by my side for nearly 6 years now -

You have taught me so much and you have no idea how much I've leaned on your love and support since the day we met. I adore you and your presence in my life. I can't thank you enough for always giving me something to look forward to, for giving me a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen when I needed it. You’re the perfect friend and I'm so lucky to always have you. Even if we are a distance apart, you're close to my heart. Thanks for the laughs and memories along the way, too. I don't know where I'd be without you, but I hope I never have to find out.

Second, to my parents who I love dearly -

Simply put, thank you. Thanks for the financial support and emotional guidance you have provided to me since I was born. No one loves me like you both do and I couldn't be more lucky to have parents as supportive and wonderful as you both. I feel like we have only grown closer as I've gotten older and I am so grateful for all you've done to help get me where I am today. I love you both through thick and thin and I have learned so much of what I know today because of what you've taught me. Thank you for absolutely everything.

To people who broke my heart, romantically or otherwise -

Like Ariana, I'm grateful for you, too. You made me stronger. You helped me learn what I didn't want to bring into my life going forward. I learned the kinds of people I didn't need or want in my life and how I don't like being treated. I truly am grateful for every lost lover and friend, as I wouldn't be who I am or where I am without their influence.

To my co-worker friends at this job and the last -

You know who you are - I am forever grateful for your kind words of support and encouragement. None of you know what kinds of things you helped me muscle through. On some of my darkest days over the last few years, each of you showed me kindness and brought the smile that I nearly lost back to my face. You'll never know what this means to me.

To the person I spend my every waking moment thinking about -

Words cannot express how much I appreciate you. You have stuck by me throughout some of the hardest moments in my life. You have shown me love and comfort when I needed it more than anything. You've been patient; you've been loving; you've been forgiving. You have spent countless amounts of time, money, and energy making me happy, and even if I haven't always done the best job showing it, it has NEVER gone unnoticed. No one has ever shown me as much sympathy or given me as many chances as you have. I owe you more than I'll ever be able to repay. I love you to the stars and back. Thank you for being in my life from then to now and hopefully beyond.

Finally to each and every other person I've met along the way who I've learned from or enjoyed a conversation with -

Thank you for your brief presence in my life. Some of my best moments in these last 25 years have come from you and I cherish our fleeting time together. Thanks for the lessons, stories, and laughs. My heart and memory is full.

Being grateful comes in many forms, all of which I need to work on. Everything from being more appreciative of the things people do for me, to being more polite when someone makes an effort to be nice and doesn't quite succeed. I'm learning to appreciate time, things, places, and people more as I get older. I'm lucky to be where I am with who I am and I'm more grateful than ever for my path that got me here.

Who could you say thank you to right now that deserves to hear it?