Whoever Said “It’s the Journey” Clearly Had TSA PreCheck and a Trust Fund

Whoever said “it’s not the destination, it’s the journey,” has either never flown economy or has seriously low standards. I hate to break it to you — but traveling kinda sucks. Sure, seeing new places is amazing, but the actual getting there part? A parade of stress, discomfort, and disappointment wrapped in a neck pillow.

As someone who leans heavily toward pessimism (and prides myself on it), I think it’s time we stop romanticizing the travel process and call it what it is: a mess. So, here’s my brutally honest list of why traveling is the worst — and how I attempt to survive it anyway.

Airports: The Never-Ending Labyrinth of Stress

Ah yes, the sacred advice: “Arrive early!” But why? So I can stand in a TSA line that moves like molasses, get side-eyed by a bored agent, and then sprint through Terminal P to find a gate that’s somehow in another zip code? Airports are purgatory with $7 bottled water and unintelligible loudspeaker announcements. Bonus challenge: Find a working outlet before your phone dies. And the prize? A middle seat next to a stranger who really wants to tell you about their divorce.

Survival Tips:

• Pack snacks. Pack headphones. Pack patience.

• Find a quiet corner and guard it like a raccoon with a shiny object.

• Set your expectations to zero. Anything above that will be a miracle.

Delays: Because the Universe Thinks You’re Funny

You did everything right — ya booked it early, ya packed like a pro, ya even wore your “travel day” outfit. But Mother Nature and mechanical issues had other plans. Delayed. Again. And here comes an airline rep handing you three stale peanuts like they’re peace offerings.

Survival Tips:

• Mentally prepare for delays before you leave your house.

• Download the airline app and refresh it obsessively.

• If your flight’s delayed more than two hours, ask about compensation. Vouchers happen.

Airplane Coffee: An Act of Violence

You just want caffeine. What you get is warm sadness in a paper cup. It’s brown, technically, but that’s where the resemblance to coffee ends.

Survival Tips:

• Bring your own coffee or caffeinated snacks.

• Get a decent cup at the airport before boarding.

• Treat airplane coffee like a last resort in the apocalypse.

Compression Socks & Noise-Cancelling Headphones: Your MVPs

Two travel items you’ll never regret: compression socks and noise-cancelling headphones. One keeps your legs from ballooning. The other protects your sanity.

Survival Tips:

• Wear the socks, even if you feel silly.

• Use the headphones even if it’s just to muffle the baby three rows back.

• Pair together for the closest thing you can get to in-flight peace.

Wi-Fi in the Sky: Modern Scam Edition

Airline Wi-Fi is advertised as a luxury. In reality, it’s glitchy, overpriced, and barely faster than your 1998 dial-up. You’ll pay $10 to open one email and get logged out before you can reply.

Survival Tips:

• Download everything before takeoff.

• Don’t pay, simple.

• Use it only for texting and silent judgment.

Baggage Claim: Where Hope Goes to Die

The plane lands, and you shuffle to the baggage claim like cattle with carry-ons. Then the waiting game begins. Will your bag emerge? Will it be soaked? Will it even exist?

Survival Tips:

• Use AirTags or tracking apps for peace of mind.

• Stay close to the carousel—it starts when you walk away.

• Report missing bags immediately.

Lost Luggage: The Gut Punch

You made it, but your bag didn’t. Somewhere over the ocean, your carefully packed outfits are living their best life without you. Now you’re stuck with your airplane hoodie and the deodorant sample from your carry-on.

Survival Tips:

• Carry-on only, always.

• Always pack one day of essentials in your personal item.

• Report it immediately. Waiting doesn’t make it more found.

Public Transit Abroad: Elbows, Smells, and Mild Panic

You made it! Time to explore like a local — except it’s rush hour and you’re now nose-to-armpit with a stranger who smells like wet socks and regret. If you're lucky, someone’s only humming off-key. If you're not, you're next to a full-volume phone call about someone’s medical history.

Survival Tips:

• Walk if the weather’s nice. It’s scenic and less claustrophobic.

• Use a real-time transit app to avoid the 14-minute wait-of-doom.

• Avoid rush hour unless you're in the mood for a group hug with strangers.

Weather: Nature’s Betrayal

You packed for “sunny and 75.” Instead, it’s pouring sideways, or 97 degrees, or mysteriously cold. The weather doesn’t care about your itinerary, your outfit, or your perfectly timed golden-hour photo shoot.

Survival Tips:

• Layers. Raincoat. Sunscreen. Bring it all. (per my husband) **Disclaimer: I do NOT follow these, much to my husband’s disappointment.

• Have backup indoor activities at the ready.

• Sometimes, the best memories are made when you give up and go get hot chocolate.

Hotels: Online Dreams, Brick Wall Reality

What was promised: a dreamy suite with city views. What you got: a room with carpet older than you, a mattress made of plywood, and a window that faces a wall — and not even an interesting wall.

Survival Tips:

• Reset your expectations (again): clean, quiet, and bedbug-free is the bar.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for a different room; people do it all the time.

• Spend more time outside the room than in it.

Other Travelers: A Risky Variable

You can plan every detail — but you can’t plan people. Loud tourists. Drunk Airbnb neighbors. That one guy who insists on narrating his podcast out loud at full volume mid-flight.

Survival Tips:

• Deep breaths. Earbuds. Passive-aggressive glares, if necessary.

• Be the traveler you wish others were.

• Find quiet when you need to recharge from the chaos of humanity.

In the End? Yeah… It’s Worth It. (Mostly.)

Travel is chaos. It’s unpredictable, uncomfortable, and packed with tiny disasters. But when you finally arrive — when the food is amazing, the views take your breath away, and you’re standing somewhere completely new — it will click.

The journey may suck. But the destination? Usually worth every miserable moment.

(…Just don’t ask me to say that while I’m stuck at gate B47 with no updates.)