It’s the question that sneaks up on you while you’re scrolling through Zillow at midnight, sipping your oat milk latte, or finally sitting down after a long day of meetings (a mix of Zooms and IRL ones because, apparently, hybrid work is the best of both worlds). For those of us who are doing all the things—getting promotions, finding the right partner, adopting rescue dogs instead of having kids—it’s the same question that stares back at us in those rare, quiet moments: What do we do now?

This isn’t my first rodeo.

A few years ago, I realized I had a little habit. Okay, fine. A big habit. I was constantly shopping. Buying cute things that caught my eye, only to have them sit unworn in my closet, silently judging me. I’d swing between impulse purchases and aesthetic aspirations, always hoping the next item would be the missing piece that made me feel put-together. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

I was upset at work again today. Not because of work—I love my job—but because the reason isn't important to this post anyway.